Excuse me, is that a rhetorical, an existential or an evaluative question?
Over the years almost every client I have worked with has asked me the question, “Can you believe it?” Philosophically speaking, they have asked me the question from one or more of three perspectives: existential, rhetorical or evaluative.
As we are all a sample of one, we cannot help but feel that our set of circumstances is unique, with special challenges. And as transition is usually not of our choosing, we feel more vulnerable or exposed than we otherwise would, and understandably, we struggle with additional rejection.
In 2023 research conducted amongst a sample of 125 former clients, we asked them to agree or disagree with statements related to their experiences during transition and this is some of what we learned:
- “You were runner-up in at least one search.” 77%
- “Some of your networking calls or messages were never returned.” 77%
- “You applied for a role and you did not receive a response.” 67%
So, rejection and silence are common experiences, and every one of these situations could elicit the question, “Can you believe it?”
Most ask rhetorically or evaluatively, but there are those who ask existentially as it can be the case that someone starts to question whether or not there is some special meaning attached to a decision or lack of response.
As the numbers show, I can respond, “Yes, I can believe it, it happens more often than you might think and it happens to pretty well everyone in transition, so let’s acknowledge the disappointment but stay focused.”
For example, being the runner-up candidate. I can show my clients that this happened to 77% of my sample, so there is nothing philosophical to be explored, it’s a matter of applying any learning gathered during that process and continuing to search. Maybe there is something that could have done better or differently or maybe it really was a coin toss and there is nothing further that could have been done.
At the end of the day, one must be prepared to be tested again because the next opportunity lies in the unknown. Believe it!